Love your post. I took a similar path, starting with becoming a professional astrologer, and then discovering Aleister Crowley. Long story short, I performed a magick ritual and proceeded into panic attacks. From there I went to psychotherapy, and then Buddhism.
Always, always longing for truth.
Finally, at the end of my rope, with a good husband and two beautiful daughters, and yet deeply unsatisfied, I prayed. “I don’t know if you’re up there, but if you are I need help “.
Within two weeks, I was led to a book, The Pagan Temptation, by Thomas Molnar. Like the woman at the well, the scales fell from my eyes, and I realized that the occult is about power, and it is a dead end.
Molnar was a devout Catholic. By the end of the book I was converted, and came into the Church in 1992.
What I always wanted was the truth about everything. But that truth, as you describe so well, involves wonder and the magical, the amazing, the marvelous.
And so I sing, give me the heart of a little child.
God bless you as well! Thank you for sharing this beautiful and personal story. The longing in our hearts is indeed real, but fulfilled and perfected in Christ the King.
Twelve times, from the HOLY OF HOLIES in your heart, pray these acknowledgements to the Fullness of the HOLY TRINITY in your stillness, HIS TEMPLE.
At my baptism, HOLY TRINITY, YOU filled my stillness, making my stillness YOUR TEMPLE. YOU fill my stillness here and now.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
Three times through, from the HOLY OF HOLIES in your heart, pray this series of acknowledgements and inquiries to the Fullness of the HOLY TRINITY in your stillness, HIS TEMPLE.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU filled my stillness. What does that mean to YOU?
HOLY TRINITY, YOU filled my stillness. What does that mean to me?
HOLY TRINITY, YOU filled my stillness. What does that mean to YOUR creation?
HOLY TRINITY, YOU filled my stillness. What does that mean to humanity, to every human being, to every person I encounter?
MAKE ME WORTHY
Twelve times, from the HOLY OF HOLIES in your heart, pray this acknowledgement and this petition to the Fullness of the HOLY TRINITY in your stillness, HIS TEMPLE.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU filled my stillness. Make me worthy to dwell with YOU, HOLY TRINITY, in my stillness.
HOLY TRINITY KNOW ME
Know in the biblical sense, knowledge that comes from intimacy between God and me, theosis.
Three times through, from the HOLY OF HOLIES in your heart, pray this series of acknowledgements to the Fullness of the HOLY TRINITY, in your stillness, HIS TEMPLE.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness while I see.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness while I hear.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness while I smell.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness while I taste.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness while I feel hot.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness while I feel cold.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness while I feel pressure.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness while I feel pain.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness while I feel pleasure.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness while I propriocept.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness while I interocept.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness while I nocicept.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness while I balance.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness while I think.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness while I emote.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness while I desire.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness while I act.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me.
THE SOVEREIGNTY PRAYER
Three times through, from the HOLY OF HOLIES in your heart, pray this series of petitions to each PERSON of the HOLY TRINITY, in your stillness, HIS TEMPLE.
LORD JESUS CHRIST, my SAVIOR and my REDEEMER, wash my stillness in YOUR BLOOD.
LORD JESUS CHRIST, my ROCK and my FORTRESS, encompass my stillness with YOUR PROTECTION.
HOLY SPIRIT, my COMFORT and my JOY, fill my stillness.
HOLY SPIRIT, PEACE and LOVE within my stillness, shine forth from my stillness as a WITNESS to others.
ABBA, FATHER, my LORD and my GOD, be SOVEREIGN in my stillness.
ABBA, FATHER, PRESENCE and PURPOSE, be SOVEREIGN through my stillness.
PRESENCE AND PURPOSE
Three times through, from the HOLY OF HOLIES in your heart, pray this series of acknowledgements and inquiries to the Fullness of the HOLY TRINITY in your stillness, HIS TEMPLE.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. How is my stillness? How am I?
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. Why is my stillness? Why am I?
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. Where is my stillness? Where am I?
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. When is my stillness? When am I?
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. What is my stillness? What am I?
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. Who is my stillness? Who am I?
From my book, THE SOVEREIGNTY PRAYERS at Amazon books.
Love your post. I took a similar path, starting with becoming a professional astrologer, and then discovering Aleister Crowley. Long story short, I performed a magick ritual and proceeded into panic attacks. From there I went to psychotherapy, and then Buddhism.
Always, always longing for truth.
Finally, at the end of my rope, with a good husband and two beautiful daughters, and yet deeply unsatisfied, I prayed. “I don’t know if you’re up there, but if you are I need help “.
Within two weeks, I was led to a book, The Pagan Temptation, by Thomas Molnar. Like the woman at the well, the scales fell from my eyes, and I realized that the occult is about power, and it is a dead end.
Molnar was a devout Catholic. By the end of the book I was converted, and came into the Church in 1992.
What I always wanted was the truth about everything. But that truth, as you describe so well, involves wonder and the magical, the amazing, the marvelous.
And so I sing, give me the heart of a little child.
God bless you!
God bless you as well! Thank you for sharing this beautiful and personal story. The longing in our hearts is indeed real, but fulfilled and perfected in Christ the King.
MY STILLNESS IS THE TEMPLE OF THE HOLY TRINITY
AT MY BAPTISM, HOLY TRINITY
Twelve times, from the HOLY OF HOLIES in your heart, pray these acknowledgements to the Fullness of the HOLY TRINITY in your stillness, HIS TEMPLE.
At my baptism, HOLY TRINITY, YOU filled my stillness, making my stillness YOUR TEMPLE. YOU fill my stillness here and now.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
Three times through, from the HOLY OF HOLIES in your heart, pray this series of acknowledgements and inquiries to the Fullness of the HOLY TRINITY in your stillness, HIS TEMPLE.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU filled my stillness. What does that mean to YOU?
HOLY TRINITY, YOU filled my stillness. What does that mean to me?
HOLY TRINITY, YOU filled my stillness. What does that mean to YOUR creation?
HOLY TRINITY, YOU filled my stillness. What does that mean to humanity, to every human being, to every person I encounter?
MAKE ME WORTHY
Twelve times, from the HOLY OF HOLIES in your heart, pray this acknowledgement and this petition to the Fullness of the HOLY TRINITY in your stillness, HIS TEMPLE.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU filled my stillness. Make me worthy to dwell with YOU, HOLY TRINITY, in my stillness.
HOLY TRINITY KNOW ME
Know in the biblical sense, knowledge that comes from intimacy between God and me, theosis.
Three times through, from the HOLY OF HOLIES in your heart, pray this series of acknowledgements to the Fullness of the HOLY TRINITY, in your stillness, HIS TEMPLE.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness while I see.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness while I hear.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness while I smell.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness while I taste.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness while I feel hot.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness while I feel cold.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness while I feel pressure.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness while I feel pain.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness while I feel pleasure.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness while I propriocept.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness while I interocept.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness while I nocicept.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness while I balance.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness while I think.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness while I emote.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness while I desire.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness while I act.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me in my stillness. HOLY TRINITY, YOU know me.
THE SOVEREIGNTY PRAYER
Three times through, from the HOLY OF HOLIES in your heart, pray this series of petitions to each PERSON of the HOLY TRINITY, in your stillness, HIS TEMPLE.
LORD JESUS CHRIST, my SAVIOR and my REDEEMER, wash my stillness in YOUR BLOOD.
LORD JESUS CHRIST, my ROCK and my FORTRESS, encompass my stillness with YOUR PROTECTION.
HOLY SPIRIT, my COMFORT and my JOY, fill my stillness.
HOLY SPIRIT, PEACE and LOVE within my stillness, shine forth from my stillness as a WITNESS to others.
ABBA, FATHER, my LORD and my GOD, be SOVEREIGN in my stillness.
ABBA, FATHER, PRESENCE and PURPOSE, be SOVEREIGN through my stillness.
PRESENCE AND PURPOSE
Three times through, from the HOLY OF HOLIES in your heart, pray this series of acknowledgements and inquiries to the Fullness of the HOLY TRINITY in your stillness, HIS TEMPLE.
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. How is my stillness? How am I?
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. Why is my stillness? Why am I?
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. Where is my stillness? Where am I?
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. When is my stillness? When am I?
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. What is my stillness? What am I?
HOLY TRINITY, YOU fill my stillness. Who is my stillness? Who am I?
From my book, THE SOVEREIGNTY PRAYERS at Amazon books.